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October 23, 2018

I Can’t With Susan Sarandon in Feud: Bette and Joan


I love everything Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, but I just can’t bring myself to watch the FX TV mini series “FEUD: Bette and Joan” starring Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon.

Plainly put, I just can’t bring myself to watch Susan Sarandon’s face–not even when it’s buried in pancake Baby Jane Hudson makeup.

FEUD: Bette and Joan, is the new FX anthology series from Ryan Murphy, so it will probably be an over-the-top campy shit show. He tells the story of the legendary rivalry between Joan (Lange) and Bette (Sarandon) during their collaboration on the Academy Award-nominated thriller What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? The series explores how the two women endured ageism, sexism, and misogyny while struggling to hang on to success and fame in the twilight of their careers.

I’ve been on this planet long enough to know that nothing screams “run out and watch a TV show” like a mob of angry halfwits threatening to boycott said TV show—however, whenever I look at Susan Sarandon, I’m transported back to her resting bitch face sitting in the audience at the Democratic National Convention last July. She had a camera aimed at her sourpuss disposition while she shook her head and rolled her eyes during Hillary’s big night.

She then made a dramatic exit halfway through the convention—“I’m out,” she tweeted shortly after, even though she had no business being “in” the convention in the first place–not with that shitty attitude. It was like watching a jilted woman show up to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding to give the bride the stink eye because things didn’t go her way. The whole thing was so hateful.

As a gay man, it’s hard for me to take the Bette and Joan bait and sit through Susan Sarandon.

I’ve read several articles where gay rags refer to Sarandon as an LGBT activist/advocate/ally, but I ask you, where was her LGBT activism in this past election? How did she champion or campaign to bring about political or social change for the LGBT community?

Nope. Sorry. Sarandon was no friend of LGBTQ+–at least not in the face of the RNC’s recent anti-LGBT platform. Sarandon has been crystal clear about the issues that she holds dear, and sorry my queer folks, LGBT rights have not always made her list. We were a non-issue. It’s not so much that she was against the gays, it was more like she was indifferent. It was always Bernie or bust with that woman, even if it meant our LGBT rights would be busted under the thumb of a Trump/Pence administration. She gets to own that.

She straight up did not care. She said she would not vote with her vagina, and I guess she did not vote with her gender neutral son in mind either. She left her pussy and her gay card at home on election night, but don’t blame her for the election results. She played no part in it. It’s not her fault. It’s time to move on people.

The orange shit hit the weed whacker, so to speak, and now we’re deep in it. Gays brace themselves for the Religious Freedom Bill that’s brewing at the Oval Office, but we’re supposed to let bygones be bygones.


So let me get this correct: Sarandon’s Baby Jane face gets plastered all over West Hollywood and we’re supposed to forget the hand she played when she campaigned against Hillary Clinton? We must let her go back to being an artist, because we owe her that for some odd reason? Now she dares to step into the shoes of a gay icon like Bette Davis and we gays are expected to tune in with a clear mind and an open heart? She wants to talk about unity all of a sudden? Now she wants to call Donald Trump dangerous and talk about transgender kids at risk in schools? Now she wants to revealed that her sexuality is “up for grabs” and that she’s “open” sexually in a PrideSource interview she did to promotes FEUD? Really? NOW a WARNING!!!???

The woman is a mess.

People tell me that I should separate the political activist, from the actress who gave us great performances in films like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Thelma & Louise, and Dead Man Walking, but these are the same people who wouldn’t spend a free minute, let alone a dime on a Mel Gibson movie, because Mel Gibson the person, has proven himself to be a bonafide asshole. The same goes for Tom Cruise and his stupid action films where he positions himself as THE MAN’s main man (get over yourself queen).

I love Jessica Lange and I used to love Susan Sarandon. I always thought she would make a convincing Bette Davis with those big eyes and that voice, but now I just can’t bring myself to watch Sarandon on a screen. I appreciate the work that she’s done in the past, but that was then. This is now.

Sarandon has the right to say whatever she wants. She can vote for Lucifer to be president in the next election if she wants. And I have the right to switch the station, change the channel if I want. Call me petty. Call it tit-for-tat. Call me a sore loser, or whatever you like, but when it comes to the new mini series FEUD: Bette and Joan…

“I’m out.”




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