I could not help but notice a silly strain of a trend that’s latching itself into the sporty fashion sense of my fellow fagged ones and trying to spread itself throughout West Hollywood muscle queens and beyond.
Numerous times, I have spied with my good eye a small bunch of guys promenading aloofly up and down Santa Monica Boulevard while sporting a hoodie hanging from their heads with the rest of the sweatshirt just dangling limply behind their backs. My guess is that these poor posers are trying to channel a boxer of sorts, but the hood look makes me think of a walking coat rack. It also reminds me of Mother Teresa, which is like the polar opposite of Mohamed Ali.
I don’t know what it is, but I don’t like it.
Is this look supposed to be sexy? Masculine? Is it some sort homage to Madonna’s Hard Candy moment? Did guys see this in a magazine? Or did one guy copy this unique way of wearing a hoodie from a friend of a friend of a friend’s friend? Will this trend catch on? I hope not. It looks dumb.
Wanna know what resonates for me when I see a limp hoodie bouncing off of a guy’s back while he walks out of the gym?
It takes me back to being a queeny kid. I remember pulling a t-shirt over my head until the neck hole pressed tightly against my forehead. I would flip that shit over my shoulders and I would pretend I was giving you longgg, blonnnde, beautiful hair.
Then my mother caught me tossing that shit around like I was a bitch from a Head & Shoulders commercial (she ALWAYS caught me) and I had to resort to other ways to fantasizing that I had longgg, blonnnde, beautiful hair.
Along came a dark blue hoodie that my mother bought me from JC Penny–and guess what people, I would place that hood on my head and I would let that shit dangle limply down my back. I pretended to be this sassy lil’ thang with hair down to my butt, or I would become a pious pretty little thang hiding under a veil while praying to the Virgin Mary—hell, I even embodied La Virgen Maria herself. It was all gay pretend. I was a kid.
I’m sorry, but no matter how hot the guy is–and one guy was pretty hot–when I see a guy walking around with a hoodie dangling from his head and down his butt, I have to do a double take, because all I see is a grown ass gay man pretending that he’s got lonnng, blonnnde beautiful hair.