DON’T QUOTE ME
The quote you see below is still floating all over the internet to this day. This gem comes from the Windy City Times website; I believe the year is 2003. I was shit-kicked into rehab only 10 days into 2007, so you can only imaging the level of insanity that was my life during that time.
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Some of the shit I wrote in the column “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper was quoted a lot back in the day. Gay reporter Rex Wockner had a syndicated column called “Quote on Quote,” which compiled soundbites from gay media outlets the world over and these quotes were published in gay publications all over the country. It was a trip seeing my name being quoted next to Rosie O’Donnell, Ellen Degeneres and so forth.
It was also a real trip when respectable publications would get hate mail because they DARED to quote me.
I reckon, one should be careful what one writes; it does come back to haunt you in the not so faraway future. The more intolerant one is, the more one is forced to eat shit — not that I’m haunted by these words, mind you–I actually find the AA quote kind of funny, but mostly because it speaks what was then my harsh truth. I don’t know too many people who first walk into the rooms of recovery thinking that it’s going to be something that resembles anything remotely fun or cool.
I straight up didn’t give a fuck!
That is until I found myself completely fucked. A change of heart was really a matter of choosing between life and death. I could have stuck to my guns and ended up dead with a bullet to the brain via a bump of crystal meth, but I was never EVER out to off myself. I liked me too much. Ask anybody.
Of course my lil’ quote pissed some sobers off. You best believe I had a new hole ripped into me via the letter’s section of FAB!. People may be pissed off to this day, I honestly never know who read what back in those crazy years, but I honestly believe for the most part that people in the program with a sense of humor read the quote for what it was, which was–to add another quote: “methinks the lady doth protest too much.”
That quote came up–especially in early recovery when people from the program would hit me up at a meeting talkin’ about, “Hey, I remember you! You’re that guy who wrote that column about … ”
I hear my name was also brought up during fellowship in that first year of recovery. “That one is a mess,” they said behind my back. “That one needs to make a lot of amends.”
Needless to say I had some problems. I’m talkin’ about some SERIOUS problems. But we all know the cliché, every crazy moment led to who am today, and today, I think I’m alright, so fuck it.
They say, more will be revealed.
And boy was it ever.
Luv,
Me
