GIVE ME COFFEE DAMN YOU!!!
I could not explain it. One day I found myself feeling sluggish in the middle of the day. I’m talkin’ about I took two naps in the afternoon, which I rarely do, on account of naps have a tendency to make me feel like a lazy ass–and on the rare occasions that I do snooze, I only allow myself a good 10 minutes or so–and even then, I still snap out of it feeling guilty as all hell and going, “What am I doing with my LIFE!!!???”
Yet there I was unable to keep my eyes open in the middle of the day, curled up on the couch with a white warm fluffy dumb dog at my feet. My partner was also not feeling too well. He had a headache and felt a little run down. We figured we were both getting sick to mark the end of summer.
My friends called me tired. I was like, “Bitch, you ain’t nevah HAD me! I’m unrested darrrlink, NEVER tired—”
Yet the days wore on and I started seeing some serious under-eye baggage on my mug, which I rarely get; I read somewhere that you should always sleep with your head on a pillow, elevated above your body, so that blood doesn’t rush to your head in your sleep, which causes your eyes to puff up like two swollen vajays. You best believe that I jam so many pillows under my head, that I practically sleep sitting up.
It was about four days of sluggishness. This whole time I had been drinking coffee at home. Then I went to Starbucks to meet a friend and I was like “GAWD … DAMN! What’s in this thing!?” The coffee was strong that morning. My ass was sooo cracked out, I felt tingly and jittery and a few times I thought I was gonna hork. That shit felt sooo good.
Then I get a call from my partner later that day. “Babe,” he said. “I figured out why we haven’t been feeling so energetic lately … ”
Turned out we were drinking the Decaf version of Caffe Verona the whole time we were feeling sluggish.
DECAFFEINATED COFFEE!!!
I seriously never understood the point? It makes me want to hurt some people.
It brought up a dilemma for me. Without meaning to, I was on the verge of kicking my coffee habit. On the one hand, coffee is my only vice; I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, or gamble, I’m not some alien sex fiend, and I try not to eat anywhere that has a drive-through.
I like my cup of coffee in the morning.
On the other hand, I hate that I need coffee to start my day. Coffee is not that great for you; it dehydrates you, it’s bad for your bones, it has aging components, it stains your teeth and I have a hard time ignoring that warning sign that I read every time I stand in line to purchase my Venti Bold. I’m talkin’ about the sign that reads something about how coffee can cause cancer (“Cancer?” That’s hilarious.”)–and speaking of purchases: I would also save a couple of hundred a month on that damn cup of Joe.
So … do I continue on the decaffeinated path and gradually shed all traces of coffee caffeine from my body … and walk around with saggy baggage under my eyes? And continue taking naps?
Or do I live a little, life is short, and continue to start my day with a delicious steaming cup of coffee?
With some room for cancer please.
What to do?
What to do?
Luv,
Me
