Moments after I wrote the little ditty about me being on a mean 3-day run and almost getting hit by a drunk driver many years ago, I got this short email on Facebook from a cute guy telling me that he still PNPs. I’m not sure if he was simply stating a fact, reaching out for a little help, or trying to taunt me that he still parties and plays. Maybe he was simply talking about himself, cuz people like to do that.
He says that he’s glad I got better, which leads me to believe that maybe he wants to get better also. I’m not really sure. Whatever the case, I know better than to judge, I know better than to try to cure, and I also know better than to get too wrapped up. The PNP can’t be fun at this point if he had the urge to email me and put it out there, but I don’t know where the guy is coming from, so I didn’t want to pry and push and give him some cheesy “rah-rah, you can do it too” pep talk. All I can do, is offer an ear. And take it from there.
I’m coming up on 6 years clean and sober next month. Put that much distance between you and the last bump of crystal meth and it can be easy to forget the desperateness and hopelessness and loneliness that you can feel when you “still pnp.” The freedom from the bondage of addiction seemed impossible. But recovery is out there for anyone if you really want it.
I sincerely hope this guy “gets better” also. Cuz the fact is, in the realm of addiction you either get better clean and sober, or the shit only gets so much worse.