MADONNA – TURN OFF THE VIDEO
Huge Madonna freak to the max here. No apologies, no newsflash, no mystery and no surprise. The bitch can do no wrong. Or can she?
Like most M freaks, I’m eagerly anticipating the release of the new single Turn Up the Radio, which is one of the strongest tracks off the MDNA album with it’s carefree messages about having fun, shaking up the system and breaking the rules. This song actually stands a chance to get some radio airplay, cuz radio loves anything with the word radio in it. It should get radio time; it’s a great fucking song.
Then we got clips and video stills of M wearing Moschino “Gatta” sunglasses while she’s running a muck around the street of Italy in tight hootchie short shorts with big pouffy, age-inappropriate hair and it was ON! Expectations were high. I saw her rolling around in the back of an open convertible and figured she was gonna play on the Like a Virgin video where she rolls around at the end of a gondola…
They say expectations are resentments waiting to happen.
The Turn Up the Radio video came out yesterday and I find myself nursing a major resentment. The result is an absolute disjointed MESS that makes no kind of sense, other than the obvious fact that it borrows heavily from the Sorry video where M picks up a bunch of young dancers off the street. I’ve seen it all before.
I’m sorry (lo siento, ik ben droevig, sono spiacente, perdoname), but there’s no nice way around this. The editing and direction is horrible. One moment M’s lip sync is halfhearted; then the convertible top is up, then it is down again. She’s in the car. Then she’s on the street tugging at a dancers. Then the convertible top is down again. Scenes slice and dice back and forth between the open road and in the heart of the city. She looks to the left, but the guys she is looking at are to the right. You add hookers and Hookahs and my head is ready to explode. WTF!!!??? THEN you see the convertible’s front tires lift from the ground as it is being pulled away from the gas station. You can see the camera crew and lighting equipment in front of her. It’s like a bad taping of Making the Video. There was no choreography, no story line, and I’m also sooo sick of seeing Brahim Zaibat’s face in her videos and can’t wait till she gets sick of it also (Brahim…meet Jesus).
Let me digress to add that she looks great. Better than great. The bitch looks hot.
But overall. A huge disappointment.
And speaking of disappointments…
Madonnalicious.com is one of my very fave websites for the latest M news (umm…THAT and I also read the huffingtonpost.com on occasion…gulp). It’s the first place I hit up when the Turn Up the Radio video debuted yesterday. However, I was so outraged by the results that I decided to leave a comment, which I never do. My remark was brief. I pointed out how the video is disjointed and poorly directed. Then I added that the director should be shot on the foot for making this horrible mess—you know, “to shake up the system and break all the rules” (evil grin). AND my comment was DELETED (long pause)…which I find sooo hypocritical. The woman who runs madonnalicius.com (I believe her name is Clare) deleted my comment because I assume it was deemed too violent (there were plenty of negative comments about the video, so it wasn’t because I was hating). I got deleted for shooting some asshole in the foot. Meanwhile Madonna goes on killing sprees, sings about revolvers and she has lyrics like, “Bang! Bang! Shot you dead. Shot my lover in the head…” which I love don’t-get-me-wrong. But I went too far!!!??? Fuck off!
I get it. It sucks when you’re not Madonna. But hypocritical none-the-less.
So in comes the part where it’s real nice having my own website. I can express myself however I want. So here’s a big FUCK YOU Clare. Delete THIS!
“NOW DIE BITCH! AND WHILE YOU’RE AT IT DIE BITCH! I SAID DIE BITCH!” — Lyrics to the song Bang Bang – MDNA – Madonna
Anyway, below is a link to the video. Close your eyes and enjoy.