I popped my Halloweenie cherry this past weekend and I looked every bit a newbie at Fred & Jason’s Halloweenie 2017, sponsored by Kevin Huvane. The party for a good cause took place at the Belasco Theatre in Downtown Los Angeles this year. The theme year was “Rebirth” but I hate themed parties. I hate being told what to wear and people rarely stick to the theme, so what’s the point?
My friend convinced me to go. He said he was dressing up as John Snow from Game of Thrones. I decided to phone it in and dress up as a Wildling so that we were matchies. I donned a loincloth from a previous costume, and went for a naked torso even though my ass is currently in what is known as West Hollywood fat fuck status (WHFFS)—don’t get it stupid, the body is still tight, but I recognize it’s not tight enough by West Hollywood standards (those are the rules). Anyway, I added black fur boots, a dingy fur cape, and I made the mistake of implementing a ratty blonde wig that was more Goldilocks after a nasty claw fight with the three bears, than a rough and tough Wildling who battles Whitewalkers. That wig was a disaster. I know better. I’ve done better. What was my damage?
I clearly knew nothing about Halloweenie. I mean, I knew the basics. It’s a fundraiser of sorts for the Gay Men’s Chorus Los Angeles, which didn’t exactly smack me of anything wild, sexy, edgy or cool (no offense to all my friends in LAGMC, but seriously). I’m aware GMCLA are all about good causes. They raise funds and channel their resources into advocacy and outreach to promote visibility, acceptance, and equality for the LGBTQ community and they produce community projects like the Alive Music Project and they go national for the “It Gets Better Tour, which is great, but can they get crazy, sexy, cool? I never thought so, until Halloweenie night.
I was so damn moded when we walked past the uninspired queen at the VIP table and made our way inside the Belasco Theatre. The thumping of that bass immediately took me back to my tweaky crazy years, when the drugs were fun. The decor was ghoulishly fun. I saw magic, mayhem and half-naked men in some very elaborate costumes. These bitches were not playin’. The costumes were insane. I was immediately put to shame. The bodies were on point and the bodies that were on WHFFS had tic-tac-toe sprayed on their guts to give the illusion that the body was on point under a strobe light. This was creativity of West Hollywood Carnival proportions. I kid not—how is it that I did this event for the first time in 12 years?
The handmaids were out that night, which is like so predictable, but these blessed fruits did it with a perverted and very gay twist.
A standout for me was the haunted maze, which we found by accident. I thought I was making my way towards the VIP area, so when a zombie jumped out at me from the dark, I screamed like a total queen. The maze was fun. There was one section that showed the silhouette of a guy doing things I’d rather not post on here (whispering: the guy was stroking something big and semi-hard. That’s all you’re getting out of me). You really had to be there.
As I mentioned before, this is the 12th Annual Halloweenie. Event creators Fred Arens and Jason Duguay have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for GMCLA, and from the looks of it, this year’s Halloweenie resulted in good numbers. I don’t keep up with the current DJs, but I hear DJ Hector Fonseca, DJ Jeremy Blacklow, and DJ Max Bruce are world renown. Not sure what all that means, but the music had me shaking my ass all night long.
In conclusion: Fred & Jason’s Hallweenie, Rebirth – sponsored by Kevin Huvane was a ton of fun even though my costume was a tragic, tattered mess.
In my defense, I did much better the following night for the Halloween 2017 Island of Doctor Moreau costume party I attended. I actually stuck to the theme and dressed up as a half-man/half ram. And I lost the costume contest to… yep, none other than two Handmaids.
You best BELIEVE I’m turning the shit out for the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival tomorrow. Trust. You. Me.
To learn about Fred & Jason’s Hallweenie and the Gay Men’s Chorus Los Angeles, visit gmcla.org/gmcla3/events/halloweenie-2017/
Anyway, here are some highlights from the Halloween event that’s second to the Halloween Carnival. I plan to turn it out next year.