I was a newbe the first time I noticed those music compilation dance videos that captured random gay guys being wild and free at a circuit party or at a t-dance.
The party videos used to be on continues loop at Motherlode in West Hollywood in the early 90s. Snippets showed happy guys in various forms of undress. They appeared to be living it up in these tiny time capsules that captured a party moment.
I fancied myself a party person of sorts back in my day. Truth is, I wore the Crazy Party Queen From HELL label like a badge of honorable distinction. My early ambition was to be included in one of those dance club snippets. I wanted the entire world (but I’d settle for the Motherlode crowd) to see me shaking my ass in the company of those popular happy gays. I wanted to be wild and free, or at least appear to be.
I dressed up, so I could dress down when I went out to the club with my friends. I jumped on speaker boxes, climbed on stage, and stepped up on a go-go platform to be noticed until security pulled my ass down. I didn’t want to fit in. I WANTED TO STAND OUT!!! It was a constant show for cameras that were never there.
And when there was an actual camera on me, the result was nil. Despite all my efforts to wiggle my bony ass and flash a boob in front of a lens, I never got my guy gone wild party moment (at least not that I’m aware of).
I do vaguely recall having a camera in my face when I fell into a K-hole during the White Party in the early 2000s. My friend propped me up from my lounge chair and a guy started asking me questions about the pool party. I could see, but I could not speak or move. It was all caught on tape. Thank GAWD that footage never saw the light of day.
I’ve had plenty of moments to shine in my own way during my younger gay life, mostly through my writing and so forth. I got sober and reached that moment where the party did not hold the same importance to me. I’m not tapped into the circuit party scenery whatsoever. Most of the DJs I know date back to my party years (like DJ Paulo, Eddie X and so forth). I had completely forgotten my life’s ambition to be in a party video queen, because it’s like seriously, you live and you learn and you don’t really give a shit about that shit.
Then it happened in 2015.
I was at White Party for the second year in a row after not partaking in well over 10 years. I was mostly there as a reporter.
My friends and I were on the dance floor trying to get into the circuit noise. Then a spotlight glared at me from a platform above. I saw my friend David Neuendorff of 1 Minute Video (1minutereel.com) aiming his camera at me. I was like, “You have GOT to be kidding me! This is happening NOW? 20 years later!!!???”
Fuck it. I gave him him some moves and left it at that. He never mentioned it. And I completely forgot about it. I so didn’t care.
Then almost a year later I caught myself in a Facebook promo shaking my bony ass for a runtime of 0.01 to promote White Party Weekend in Palm Springs. I guess being young, sexy, at the right time and at the right place helps, but when all that derails sideways, your chances are better when you’re chummy with the head of video production for the White Party weekend.
Below is a snippet of the video. It cracks my ass up to no end. You try and you TRY and the result is nil until you let go absolutely! You don’t give a shit and there it is.
Don’t blink or you’ll miss my 1 second of White Party fame. It all went down waaayyyy past my newbe phase.