I always post pictures of the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival. 2016 should be no different, regardless of how brutally beaten my spirit has been these past few weeks. There is no excuse to lag. Allow me to travel back to a much happier-if not-naive time, when people put their political leanings aside (most people, anyway) to escape onto Santa Monica Boulevard and witness the most unique, and largest Halloween festival in the world.
As you can see, I did not mess around this year, no differently than previous years. I told myself I was not dressing up, the same way I do every year, but who was I kidding? I need to just own it that Halloween is my thing.
Coming up with a costume idea that screamed CHARISMA, UNIQUENESS, NERVE and TALENT, was a challenge. I was lacking in the C.U.N.T. department, so I turned to my friend Alberto Reyes who is on point every year with his elaborate Halloween costumes (visit thebeastmasktermaker.com).
Alberto already had a plan in motion to dress up as some sort of white snow creature. A mask and a three-headed dragon made out of papier mâché with LED light elements were already in the works, and threatened to overshadow me for yet another year.
The mother of invention is one needy bitch. An elfin character from Lord of The Rings, or The Hobbit movies inspired me. The object was to create something expensive without the expense. We raided Alberto’s storage unit, where there were boxes full of Halloween crap stacked from the floor to the ceiling. I borrowed a cape, a wig, and other trinkets to complete my look.
Crown of Ice
Alberto made me staff of ice, that looked like Triton’s Trident. I own a crown of thorns that he elevate it into something majestic. He added these spikes made out of icicles, which I loved. He also added a pad of foam to protect my head from the thorns and he glued snowflakes into my crown of ice and added LED lights that gave me instant butt curl. A fluffy crown with lights and big snowflakes reminded me of something out of Disney’s Frozen. I was NOT about to be confused for Elsa’s guncle.
We squabbled over that crown. I like to dress the shit down to literally my bare bones, and he likes to pump up the volume until he explodes with glitter and feathers and wings and temporary tattoos and literally the kitchen sink, which works to his advantage when we hit the streets. Every year people die over his look. I lean towards a more editorial look that can be underwhelming on the street, but I’m all about the image.
I hate to be difficult and seem ungrateful, but needless to say, I stepped out that Halloween night sans any foam or snowflakes or Christmas lights on my head and I paid a heavy price. Those thorns dug into my scalp, so my head hurt like hell. My crown also snagged into my wig and scratched and clutched at anything that came near it. I don’t think it was ever meant to be worn. Did I mention my head hurt like hell?
Not ready for my close up
I have to give it up to Alberto. Our costumes were a huge hit. The constant grabbing and picture-taking made it impossible for us to walk. The flashbulbs were blinding, but I could only focus on cheap cellular camera phones getting bad angles under horrible lighting.
“Who are you supposed to be?” I was asked more than once, which is a Halloween FAIL in my book. People guessed I was Dead Jesus, Ariel’s dad, a White Walker, or an Ice Queen. I wanted to head-butt the bitch who called me Lady Gaga.
Confusion aside, we both made LA WEEKLY’s list of the best Halloween costumes that night, which didn’t suck.
This year’s West Hollywood Halloween Carnival attendance didn’t seem as large as previous years. I didn’t feel I was going to die of asphyxia in some human crowd disaster, but the costumes did not disappoint. I’m talking about crazy creatures, drag queens, superheroes, villains, Trump grabbing a pussy (of the feline nature), Hillary in an orange jumpsuit and of course, lots and lots of naked people. WeHo’s very own Dragorilla (aka Monsterella) was also out there with her uncut clit hanging out for everyone to see.
The drag queen dressed as Lil’ Poundcake made me happy, but the giant carnival style Pink Panther costume was the winner this year. She was simply amazing. The bitch was light on her feet and didn’t really stop for photos. I had to chase her down to capture her likeness.
So much has happened in the past three weeks. It feels like Halloween was three years ago. Anyway, here are some pictures of what I witnessed at this year’s West Hollywood Halloween. A big thank you to my friend Dan Mryglot for hosting and hanging out with us and getting some great shots of us on the street.
For more on the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival, visit http://weho.org/visitors/events-in-the-city/halloween-carnaval