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December 28, 2017



the hiss fit

The game ain’t what it used to be.  There is yet another pizza joint coming soon in the heart of West Hollywood, called (drum roll please … ) The Pizza Joint, aka TPJ if you wanna sound like one of the cool kidz.  The word “joint” aside, this place is fronting an upper crust “Italian Authentic Artisan Pizzeria Ristorante” establishment, which confuses the shit right out of me.  Can a place be a joint and a ristorante at the same time?

TPJ has posted a Help Wanted sign on their store front, which I think is great.  Employment opportunities never hurt nobody, noway, nohow.  The sign reads “NOW HIRING” “STAFF WANTED” in big bold letters, but then in small print (gottah read the small print), future staff hopefuls are required to submit a resume AND (drum roll please … ) a headshot for consideration of employment.  A HEADSHOT, PEOPLE!!!

the pizza joint thehissfit.com

It’s no longer about submitting your employment history to land a gig; nowadays you have to put your best face forward in the form of an 8×10.  I get it, looks are important, but exactly what look are they looking for?  What’s the criteria?  Then comes the realization that this is a pizza joint!

Some members in the community were outraged by the headshot requirement.  “I can understand needing a head shot if applying for a position as a model, actor, stripper or even a prostitute,” my friend Temple Drake posted on Facebook, “but not for a dough thrower.”

“So LA. And so ridiculous,” Kimberly Phipps responded.

“Surprised they don’t ask for a reel to go with that head shot, everything is a casting call here.. even pizza..,” Shaene Fanton added.

The people at TPJ need to stick their heads out of the dough and smell the cheese.  Get over yourselves!!!  The setup for a major fail has been set.  Now I’m thinking the pizza people I see working behind that counter had better be pretty.  Now I won’t be able to help but wonder what headshot they submitted to get their pizza gig.  Now I’m fighting the urge to submit a headshot, or two …

thehissfit by Paulo Murillo

And that better be some gourmet tasting batter, if you’re gonna front and floss about Italian artisanship — not that I would really indulge in a pizza pie, mind you.  I can eat what I want and not get fat, but when it comes to pizza, even I know not to push my luck.

Which reminds me, what’s up with all these pizza joints popping up all over WeHo anyway?  We will have five pizza places on Santa Monica Blvd, between La Cienega Blvd and Robertson Blvd — all within walking distance of each other, not counting the Domino’s Pizza around the corner on La Cienega.  There can’t be a high demand for carbs and cheese in this health nut of a town.

The game just ain’t the same.





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About Paulo Murillo,

Paulo has been writing for the gay media for over 16 years. He made his debut as a columnist for FAB! Newspaper. He has written for LA Health News, IN Los Angeles, Frontiers and The Fight Magazine. He has been featured in The Bay Area Reporter, XY Magazine, Bay Windows, Windy Times, and Press Pass Q, He has been quoted in the pages of Edge Magazine, Gay & Lesbian Times, Seattle Gay News, Fuges, and in a shitload of online news outlets and blogs, thanks in large part to Rex Wocker’s Quote on Quote – Wockner Wire.

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