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July 11, 2017

THE I CAN’T STAND TOM CRUISE BLOG


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Do I think Tom Cruise is gay?  I don’t think I really care.  However, gay or not, you couldn’t get me to sit through two hours of a Tom Cruise movie.  If I was bored out of my hole and you invited me to catch the latest Tommy C movie for free, I would rather drool out of my hole and continue being bored.  You sure as hell couldn’t get me to pay for a Tom Cruise flick and if I have ever caught a Tommy movie on HBO, it’s only because that shit was in heavy rotation and I was too lazy to change to channel.  I think the last Tom movie I sat through from beginning to end was Minority Report…which came out like ten years ago.  That was a good movie by-the-way, to be fair.

Straight-up-to-the-head-up, I don’t like Tom Cruise.  Never mind the gay rumors, the vehement denials that he’s gay and the  million dollar lawsuits to prove he’s straight and the allegations about the straight marriages he endured to throw you off his gay scent, and the romantic links to male hustlers and gay porn stars and then come more gay rumors–the most recent one being that he did it IN THE NUDE with David Beckham (those damn Europeans will fuck anything).

Who cares if they think you’re gay, what about the people that think you’re a bona fide asshole?  Ask Mel Gibson–another Hollywood douche hole who suffers from a severe case of assholism.  That’s my real problem with Tom Cruise.  He   trikes me as shady douchery incarnated.  I think he’s done more damage to himself and his career with his queerdo antics without any help from a gay scandalous sex tape (….”sex tape”…do people still film sex with tapes?).

I saw a movie poster at The Arclight in Hollywood the other night.  The bill presented Tom Cruise as The Man—“The law has limits.  He does not.  Tom Cruise is…” And I could NOT help it; one look at that movie poster had me rolling my eyes inside my head.  I smacked my lips and I was like “queen pleeeze…”

I just can’t STAND Tom Cruise.

If he’s not gay in the gay sense, then he’s definitely gay…in a bad way.

Luv,

Me

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About Paulo Murillo,

Paulo has been writing for the gay media for over 16 years. He made his debut as a columnist for FAB! Newspaper. He has written for LA Health News, IN Los Angeles, Frontiers and The Fight Magazine. He has been featured in The Bay Area Reporter, XY Magazine, Bay Windows, Windy Times, and Press Pass Q, He has been quoted in the pages of Edge Magazine, Gay & Lesbian Times, Seattle Gay News, Fuges, and in a shitload of online news outlets and blogs, thanks in large part to Rex Wocker’s Quote on Quote – Wockner Wire.

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