I KINDA LIKE THE NEW MARIAH CAREY SONG, #BEAUTIFUL

I hate to admit it, but I kinda/sorta like Mariah Carey’s new song #Beautiful, but that’s only because it’s not really a Mariah Carey song in more ways than one.  She’s hardly in the number and the song samples, samples, SAMPLES–I believe this time it’s the old classic “My Girl” by The Temptations.  Miguel starts it up and one minute/30 seconds into it she steps in to do her tiny part for about 40 seconds and then she hands the song back to Miguel to finish things off.  How Miguel gets a “featured” credit when he carries most of the song, beats the shit right out of me.

I don’t blame MC for playing it safe.  I don’t blame her for riding on the back of someone much younger; bigger divas have done it to save face (names need not be mentioned).  Mariah Carey is known for going #1.  And has achieved this status by pretty much singing slightly different versions of the same silly song that involve marketable themes like butterflies, charm bracelets, rainbows, unicorns and now beautiful.  Artistically, she went from a girl in pigtails riding a tire swing, to a girl in a teeny-tiny-mini dress that likes to wiggle around like she wants it.  Badly.  It’s too bad that mini dress stumped her growth.  I wish she would take risks.  I wish she knew how to make fun of herself.  I say torch that tire swing and stand in front of it.  I would love to see her focus on creating thought-provoking art and not money-making crap, cuz straight up to the head up, crap that sells is still that … CRAP!

Ugh! And that video … It could have been an artistic montage about the meaning of beauty, which has already been done, but why stop then in the been-there-done-it department?  Instead the #Beautiful video is trying to sell Mimi as exactly that—“Look at me, I’m beautiful.”

And … PASS!!!  I’m sorry, but I’m not buyin’.  I love a good slut.  I tend to gravitate towards shamelessness, self-indulgent, trashy whoriness, but there’s something about the way Mariah delivers the tramp package that makes my butt curl.  She seems to be saying, my clothes are two sizes too small, I ride the back of a bike like I’m riding a cock in full on ecstasy, but I’m really a wholesome good girl and I’m … err … “beautiful.'”  It reads more like the back of a generic porno box, than a sex goddess that men wanna screw and gay boys want to emulate.

If you ask me, that is.

However, let me digress.  She’s had some good moments.  I beat the living shit out of that first album.  I still own Dream Lover on cassette tape (sshhhh).  And no one can take away her most #1 singles, regardless if these singles are different versions of the same song.  More power to her and more money in the bank.

Needless to say, I’m more black sheep than one of her lambs, but I kinda/sorta like MC’s new #Beautiful song.  I listen to the opening tune and I can’t help it; I find myself singing, “I’ve got sunshine.  On a cloudy day.  When it’s cold outside.  I’ve got the month of May…”

Luv,
Me