“That guy had a shitty kitty,” I heard some dude tell his friend over a tall cup of Joe at the Big Gay Starbucks. “That bitch had no business cruising Starbucks with a shitty kitty.” It wasn’t until I heard him say how Shitty Kitty painted his bird, that I finally realized what he meant by a Shitty Kitty—EEEWWW!!!
I practically ran home to look that shit up. According to Urban Dictionary a kitty that’s kinda/sorta shitty is defined as follows:
Shitty Kitty: This term refers to a male bottom, particularly to the dirty state of his man pussy (hence the name ‘shitty kitty’). His ass assumes this label upon discovery that his rectum was actually not completely empty, has been replenished by his sigmoid colon [not sure what sigmoid means and I’m too lazy to look it up] during the heat of passion and/or was never cleaned out to begin with. This is indicated by the presence of shit on the dick (or other objects of insertion) of the unsuspecting top and/or the horrid stench of fresh shit.
This term may sometimes be heard during conversation between gay men regarding sexual encounters. “Obviously some guys aren’t aware of the ‘no shitty kitty’ rule. Hello! No shitty kitties!”
THAT has to be THE most disgusting thing I have heard so far this summer. I’m sorry but I had to share it with you…for educational purposes.
I don’t know why, but the no shitty kitty rule makes me think of that stewpid show on the LOGO Network that nobody watches called 1 Girl 5 Gays, where 1 girl sits with 5 gays to discuss 20 questions about love and sex. The 5 gays are from different backgrounds with different POVs. I’ve seen snippets of all of two episodes. The show I’m thinking about focused on…um...sex stains. The 5 little gays could only admit and delve into the whitish kind of stains that can be confused for dry toothpaste on a pair of black shorts. Not one of these 5 bitches dared mentioned the mood-killing dark brown kind of human stains that can leave streak marks all over a clean pair of sheets and force two lovers to sprint for the shower.
I wanted to lean over and inform that guy at Starbucks that shit happens. It sucks when you gamble and lose. They say if you mess with the bull, sometimes you get the horn, and I guess the same goes for when you mess with a man’s kitty…(long pause)…it might be a little shitty.
So don’t mess with a shitty kitty.
And that concludes today’s blog on human stains (I’m sorry, but poor taste has gotta have a line drawn somewhere).
HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!