2 HEARTS THAT BEAT AS 1

2 HEARTS THAT BEAT AS 1

“Bitch, get your ass over here!” My friend Stanky screamed breathlessly into his smart phone over loud music. “Stacy Q is doing a meet and greet at Trunks. She’s signing autographs, hurry!”

I totally remember singer Stacy Q. She’s mostly known for that I-I-I-I-I-I- need you… “Two of Hearts” tune from the 90s, as well as some other yummy bubble gum gems that were semi hits like “We Connect”, “I Love You”, “Don’t Make a Fool of Yourself” and I’m gonna pretend like I don’t remember the rest. What the HELL was she doing at Trunks? That place has to be THE dumpiest, most tragic bar on the good side of Boystown. It is mostly known for…well…actually Trunks isn’t really known for much, other than it mostly caters to a less than attractive crowd.

I happen to live on the good side of Boystown, so I had to see for myself. And sure enough, there she was cooing and pouting for a row of flashless camera phones, while sucking on a glass of cheap white wine. She was selling CDs for ten buck and 8×10 photos for five. I thought a fiver was totally worth a meet and greet, so I got in line. Stanky was too shy to meet her, but he instructed me to mention her role as Cinnamon, in “The Fact’s of Life” way back when—don’t ask me how he remembered her character’s name; Stanky is strange that way. All I remember from that episode is little Toottie putting Q’s poster over a Madonna poster because Q was the new Madonna at the time.

There were ten people in line, but it took FOREVER to get to her because she sat and chatted with each queen individually. She was a little sloshy by the time I got to her, which is sad, because nothing makes you look more flushed than white wine. Her face was rosy pink like someone slapped her in the face. Anyway, I addressed her as Q, which tickled her skin more pink. I mentioned Cinnamon like Stanky instructed me. She laughed and asked me how old I was. I told her that I’m old enough to know better, which made her giggle, making it look like we were the best of chums. I cursed Stanky inwardly for making me sound old. I asked her to sign my picture, which she did with slow motor skills. She started to draw some hearts, but sort of lost the moment.

I didn’t mention this to her, but this is actually the second Stacy Q autograph picture that I own. A friend called me up one day about ten years ago to ask me if I knew some chick named Stacy Q. Of course I told him that I loved her. He was waiting on her at Cafe De Toile (aka Cafe De Twat). Apparently her manager told him he would get a fat tip if he asked her for an autograph. She actually left the dinner table to get him a picture from her car, which I found oh so sweet. That picture is buried in my closet somewhere. I need to find it.

Anyway, I don’t qualify Stacy Q as a one hit wonder, because I know more than one of her song, but I guess she only had one hit. I forget that one-hit wonders are people who need to make some coin just like me and you. A girl’s got to eat, right?

I asked her if she was happy. She said “Yes I am. You’re the first person to ask me that, thank you.” Then I got her to take this picture with me.

She seemed in good spirit. I just wish she would lay off the spirits. It doesn’t seem to serve her too well.

Luv,

Me